PREVIOUSLY in SONG OF REDEMPTION
After setting up a bank account and getting the proper legal ID, Carl and Rosa attempt to surprise Nigel and tell him they need him like a fish needs a bicycle, but the surprise is on them when they meet his new fiance and Rosa's "ex-daughters" who have been renamed by Nigel after singing like canaries about Rosa's nightclub show. Rehearsals are still a long ways off, so Rosa treats Carl to CREED, the latest movie in the Rocky saga, but like Mr. Balboa and his protege Adonis Creed, they don't plan to stay on the canvas very long!
AND NOW....
SONG OF REDEMPTION
A Valentine's Day Aria In Five Stanzas
Dedicated, With Affection, To
AGNES NIXON
And to the memory of All Your Children in Pine Valley
and Llanview. We may only have One Life To Live, but your
legacy will live on forever in our hearts.
STANZA THE FOURTH
Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now
The next few weeks and months went by like a blur. Rosa trying on wardrobe, adding numbers, dropping numbers,exercising her vocal cords, exercising her abs,watching other acts at clubs all over Manhattan, and Carl keeping it all together as best he could. They were so busy that her ex Whatshisname, his wife Whatchamacallit, and their daughters Whoozis and Whatzis were the furthest things from their minds, UNTIL...
Rosa and Carl were on their way to the New York Public Library for the Performing Arts to research
Broadway shows and operas for the act, when they heard a familiar voice saying, "Excuse us, ladies and gentlemen, but we're out on the street. Could you please spare some change?" As they turned around, they found Tina, Charlotte, Emily, and even Phoebe each holding a surprisingly slickly produced ad saying
NIGEL EVANS
Worst (Boss/Dad/Husband) Ever!
(Facing the copy was a picture of Nigel photoshopped with devil horns.)
We are here on the street because Nigel Evans, a rock and roll legend in his own mind, didn't like the way his wife Tina White (Tina White Evans until recently) edited his new autobiography, "Nigel: A Life In The Spotlight," He literally snatched the ring off Tina's finger and then unleashed hell on two innocent bystanders, his daughters from a prior marriage, Charlotte and Emily, and their faithful nanny Phoebe Figalilly. Behind Nigel's rock god facade is a sexist pervert who thinks he can just throw women away like cigarette butts. (For the record, Tina has been sacked as the Editor-In-Chief of Miracle Books because management objects to homeless employees.) We implore you to boycott Nigel's upcoming concert at the Barclays Center in Brooklyn and to not watch or record his upcoming interview on 60 MINUTES, and we also encourage bills no matter what the denomination,
(It can be a single or a hundred.) MetroCards, or gift cards to restaurants. Every little (or big) bit helps, so please give generously.
HELP US TODAY!
Paid for with our very last money by Tina White Evans, Charlotte Evans, Emily Evans, and Phoebe Figalilly
Rosa and Carl saw the four reluctant panhandlers wearing brightly colored baseball caps, T-shirts, and tour jackets, all emblazoned with the word HOMELESS. Carl tagged Rosa and she ran to the nearest ATM where she pulled out four hundred dollars. She ran back and gave Carl ten twenties which he gave to Tina and Phoebe. She gave the rest to her daughters, and all smiled gratefully. Carl held out a hand, and motioned to all three ladies to follow him to the Y. He asked the receptionist to open the safe, and the receptionist produced a Tiffany box. He slumped to one knee and said, "Rosa Maria Carmen Violetta Anna Milano, we have been friends and business partners for the past few weeks, but the most important piece in the puzzle has been missing until now. Will you find that piece and make me the happiest man in the universe by agreeing to be Mrs. Carl Taylor?" She opened the box, found a glittering ring, and laugh/cried, "Yes!" while the other ladies threw their Homeless caps in the air because that particular chapter in the story was about to end. He turned to Tina and said, "First of all, I'm sorry for what I said that last time, second of all, how would you like to be the Vice President for Public Relations of CRT, Carl and Rosa Taylor Entertainment?" She responded with a grateful bear hug. Rosa looked at her daughters and said, "Welcome back, Frasquita and Mercedes!" Charlotte replied, "We kinda liked the new names!" Rosa was completely taken aback. "Wait,what?" Charlotte explained, "Some kids called me Mosquito," and Emily finished, "And some kids called me Yugo!" Rosa answered, "WELL, the next time they do that, tell them their parents can expect phone calls and strongly worded emails from us!" They ran toward their new dad and their returning mom. A few hours, Nigel logged onto his Twitter account and found a photo of Carl, Rosa, Tina, Char... I mean, Frasquita, and Em...I mean, Mercedes, all saluting him with a middle finger. Couldn't happen to a nicer guy!
NEXT: The Wedding! The Club Act! Rosa Returns To The Opera Stage! Nigel's Final Fate! Face it, friend, THIS ONE HAS IT ALL!
Steve out!
Monday, February 15, 2016
Wednesday, February 10, 2016
Volume 1, Number 5 In The Home Stretch!
APREVIOUSLY in SONG OF REDEMPTION...
Our modern day Henry Higgins, Carl Taylor, and his Eliza Doolittle, Rosa Milano who forgot until just a few days ago that she and her then-husband Nigel and their daughters, Keeta and Sadie, met him at a brunch at the late, great Lincoln Center-area eatery Josefina, (Another plothole plugged by Ye Scrivener.) informed her offspring about Mom's return from the streets to superstardom and told them not to let the Pater know anything about it until the time was right. They have taken care of food, clothing, and housing, at the American Table Café at Lincoln Center, the Shops at Columbus Circle, and the five-star Empire Hotel facing Lincoln Center, respectively. (Richard Dreyfuss, take note, this lady, who is about to stop being Down And Out In New York, is about to have it WAAAAAY better than your character in that movie set in Beverly Hills based on the play "Boudou Saved From Drowning". As I recalled, he STAYED homeless as the movie ended. Suffice it to say, THAT will NOT happen on MY watch!)
AND NOW...
SONG OF REDEMPTION
A Valentine's Day Aria In Five Stanzas
(I received a complaint about Rosa's language last time, but I DID say the story was PG-13. I WILL try and tone down the language, but I'm still just trying to keep it real. BTW, this is STILL a work of fiction, although some actual names of people and places are used for the sake of authenticity, and any similarity between a fictional character and an actual person without satiric intent is purely coincidental.)
STANZA THE THIRD
I Get Along Without You Very Well
The closest thing Rosa had to a nice piping hot shower in that period of homelessness was a stinging hot shower at a shelter in the Bronx. (She escaped with her life, scrounged two bucks, and took a train to Lower Manhattan, where our story began.) This time, she got the real thing, and the Caswell-Massey soap didn't hurt. After she got her morning news fix from GMA, (One of her guilty pleasures was hearing Jen Anniston as Rachel asking, "Who's George Snuffle-upagus?" after her friend Rachel saw George STEFANOPOLOUS, ABC News' Senior Anchor and the host of GMA through her binoculars, or as Rosa liked calling 'em, "opera glasses.") she met Carl at the Lincoln Square branch of JP Morgan Chase Bank, where they were going to set up her accounts. The only problem was, Nigel didn't want her to travel out of state, (Her passport was next on the agenda.) and the account executive needed proof that this was THE Rosa Milano. Carl looked at Rosa, and... well, how's this for proof?
THE HABANERA from CARMEN, an opera in four acts by Georges Bizet, libretto by Henri Meilhac and Ludovic Halevy, based on the novel by Prosper Merimee. Public Domain
"L'amour est enfant de Boheme,
I'l na jamais jamais connu de loi.
Si tou n'aimes pas,j'taime.
Si je t'aime, prends garde a toi!
(Carl sang, "Prends garde a toi" twice and attempted a Gypsy handclap, to the chagrin of more than a few customers.)
Si tou n'aimes pas, si tou n'aimes pas,j'taime.
Mais si jr t'aime,si je t'aime, prends garde a toi!"
(Love is a Gypsy child. He has never ever known law. If I don't love you, you love me. If I love you, be on guard!)
"OK, OK, I believe you!," the executive screamed after hearing Rosa belt out the Habanera, the song Carmen sings in the first act when the soldiers ask her when she'll fall in love. The act of turning Rosa back into a legitimate citizen of New York City and State and the United States of America took a good six hours,but after all the "T's" were crossed and "I's" dotted, it was time to actually work on the act, but not without meeting (Dum-dum-DUMMMMM!) Nigel. They returned to the Lincoln Square building that Nigel requested Rosa vacated, and a few selfies with the staff later, Rosa finally made it back to the old apartment, Carl in tow. She rang the bell and heard a slightly drunk voice shouting, "'Ey now, what's all this then?" He finally made it to the door.
"Oh. It's YOU."
" Good to see you too, Nigel. You remember Carl Taylor from that brunch at Josefina, right?
He shook Carl's hand as if it were a dead fish, and said, insincerely, "Good to see ya, again, guv'nor."
Carl replied, "The pleasure is all yours, mate."
"To what I owe the pleasure of this surprise meeting?"
"Well, Nije, I found your significant other freezing to death on Canal Street and we both agreed she deserved something bet..."
""Old it right there, Carl, there's someone I want you to meet. TINA! CHARLOTTE! EMILY!'
A beautiful English rose appeared on cue...along with 'Quita and Sadie. Why did they answer to two different names?
"Carl and, uh, Rosa, meet me lovely fiance, Tina White, and our two lovely daughters, Charlotte and Em..."
Rosa almost had a relapse back into her homeless phase. "HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, BUSTER! YOU CAN'T JUST RENAME 'QUITA AND SADIE WITHOUT GOING THROUGH ME FIRST!"
Nigel replied, "OH yes I can! And I was just about to introduce the lovely Tina White, editor-in-chief at Miracle Books."
Tina said with a laugh," Remember our tagline, if it's a good book, it's a Miracle!"
Rosa replied without smiling, "Ha-ha. Nigel, why did you dump me for THIS bimbo? I thought you wanted to help me bring opera to more people, even let me try different genres!"
Nigel explained, "I got tired of all those fat ladies in helmets shouting at the top of their voices, and I changed the names of my daughters to those of the Bronte sisters, two proper British authors."
Rosa screamed, "YOUR daughters?!?! Since when are they YOUR daughters?!?!?"
"Since I took them out to A Salt and Battery on Greenwich for fish and chips and they blurted out the fact that you're coming back with your own nightclub act. By the way, congratulations."
Rosa turned a bright red. "MATA HARI! TOKYO ROSE! I HAVE NO DAUGHTERS! Why in the name of all that's holy do you need this new life?"
Nigel explained, "I wanted to write my own rock and roll bio, so what better way than to literally get in bed with an editor?"
Tina said, "My Nigey is a better writer than all those poor shmoes who keep bombarding me with manuscripts. Everyday I read them, then send them back with form letters saying, "I hear the post office is hiring,"
Carl pointed a finger at TIna, "So, that was YOU, you harlot!"
Tina replied, "Relax, Yank! We also have our own self-publishing service, multiple copies, your book on every platform known to man,copyright, ISBN number, all for the incredible low price of YOUR LIFE with a small service charge of EVERYTHING YOU OWN ON EARTH!"
Carl beckoned to Rosa, "Come on, Rosie, we don't need THESE guys! We've got a show to put on, and nothing's gonna stand in our way!"
When they made it to the street level Rosa looked at Carl.
"You know what?"
"No, what?"
"I've always loved U-nited Artists' 1976 classic ROCKY starring Sylvester Stallone, Talia Shire, and Carl Weathers in a great American underdog story. The remake, CREED, is now playing over at the Lincoln Square. You up?"
"You're on, buddy!"
Not exactly the most romantic way to spend a Valentine's Day, but, hey, whatever works, works!
NEXT: Stunning new developments in Carl's relationship with Rosa and Nigel's relationship with Tina and whatever the heck their names are! We finally get a look at the nightclub act AND Rosa's return to opera! Be here!
ALOHA!
Our modern day Henry Higgins, Carl Taylor, and his Eliza Doolittle, Rosa Milano who forgot until just a few days ago that she and her then-husband Nigel and their daughters, Keeta and Sadie, met him at a brunch at the late, great Lincoln Center-area eatery Josefina, (Another plothole plugged by Ye Scrivener.) informed her offspring about Mom's return from the streets to superstardom and told them not to let the Pater know anything about it until the time was right. They have taken care of food, clothing, and housing, at the American Table Café at Lincoln Center, the Shops at Columbus Circle, and the five-star Empire Hotel facing Lincoln Center, respectively. (Richard Dreyfuss, take note, this lady, who is about to stop being Down And Out In New York, is about to have it WAAAAAY better than your character in that movie set in Beverly Hills based on the play "Boudou Saved From Drowning". As I recalled, he STAYED homeless as the movie ended. Suffice it to say, THAT will NOT happen on MY watch!)
AND NOW...
SONG OF REDEMPTION
A Valentine's Day Aria In Five Stanzas
(I received a complaint about Rosa's language last time, but I DID say the story was PG-13. I WILL try and tone down the language, but I'm still just trying to keep it real. BTW, this is STILL a work of fiction, although some actual names of people and places are used for the sake of authenticity, and any similarity between a fictional character and an actual person without satiric intent is purely coincidental.)
STANZA THE THIRD
I Get Along Without You Very Well
The closest thing Rosa had to a nice piping hot shower in that period of homelessness was a stinging hot shower at a shelter in the Bronx. (She escaped with her life, scrounged two bucks, and took a train to Lower Manhattan, where our story began.) This time, she got the real thing, and the Caswell-Massey soap didn't hurt. After she got her morning news fix from GMA, (One of her guilty pleasures was hearing Jen Anniston as Rachel asking, "Who's George Snuffle-upagus?" after her friend Rachel saw George STEFANOPOLOUS, ABC News' Senior Anchor and the host of GMA through her binoculars, or as Rosa liked calling 'em, "opera glasses.") she met Carl at the Lincoln Square branch of JP Morgan Chase Bank, where they were going to set up her accounts. The only problem was, Nigel didn't want her to travel out of state, (Her passport was next on the agenda.) and the account executive needed proof that this was THE Rosa Milano. Carl looked at Rosa, and... well, how's this for proof?
THE HABANERA from CARMEN, an opera in four acts by Georges Bizet, libretto by Henri Meilhac and Ludovic Halevy, based on the novel by Prosper Merimee. Public Domain
"L'amour est enfant de Boheme,
I'l na jamais jamais connu de loi.
Si tou n'aimes pas,j'taime.
Si je t'aime, prends garde a toi!
(Carl sang, "Prends garde a toi" twice and attempted a Gypsy handclap, to the chagrin of more than a few customers.)
Si tou n'aimes pas, si tou n'aimes pas,j'taime.
Mais si jr t'aime,si je t'aime, prends garde a toi!"
(Love is a Gypsy child. He has never ever known law. If I don't love you, you love me. If I love you, be on guard!)
"OK, OK, I believe you!," the executive screamed after hearing Rosa belt out the Habanera, the song Carmen sings in the first act when the soldiers ask her when she'll fall in love. The act of turning Rosa back into a legitimate citizen of New York City and State and the United States of America took a good six hours,but after all the "T's" were crossed and "I's" dotted, it was time to actually work on the act, but not without meeting (Dum-dum-DUMMMMM!) Nigel. They returned to the Lincoln Square building that Nigel requested Rosa vacated, and a few selfies with the staff later, Rosa finally made it back to the old apartment, Carl in tow. She rang the bell and heard a slightly drunk voice shouting, "'Ey now, what's all this then?" He finally made it to the door.
"Oh. It's YOU."
" Good to see you too, Nigel. You remember Carl Taylor from that brunch at Josefina, right?
He shook Carl's hand as if it were a dead fish, and said, insincerely, "Good to see ya, again, guv'nor."
Carl replied, "The pleasure is all yours, mate."
"To what I owe the pleasure of this surprise meeting?"
"Well, Nije, I found your significant other freezing to death on Canal Street and we both agreed she deserved something bet..."
""Old it right there, Carl, there's someone I want you to meet. TINA! CHARLOTTE! EMILY!'
A beautiful English rose appeared on cue...along with 'Quita and Sadie. Why did they answer to two different names?
"Carl and, uh, Rosa, meet me lovely fiance, Tina White, and our two lovely daughters, Charlotte and Em..."
Rosa almost had a relapse back into her homeless phase. "HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, BUSTER! YOU CAN'T JUST RENAME 'QUITA AND SADIE WITHOUT GOING THROUGH ME FIRST!"
Nigel replied, "OH yes I can! And I was just about to introduce the lovely Tina White, editor-in-chief at Miracle Books."
Tina said with a laugh," Remember our tagline, if it's a good book, it's a Miracle!"
Rosa replied without smiling, "Ha-ha. Nigel, why did you dump me for THIS bimbo? I thought you wanted to help me bring opera to more people, even let me try different genres!"
Nigel explained, "I got tired of all those fat ladies in helmets shouting at the top of their voices, and I changed the names of my daughters to those of the Bronte sisters, two proper British authors."
Rosa screamed, "YOUR daughters?!?! Since when are they YOUR daughters?!?!?"
"Since I took them out to A Salt and Battery on Greenwich for fish and chips and they blurted out the fact that you're coming back with your own nightclub act. By the way, congratulations."
Rosa turned a bright red. "MATA HARI! TOKYO ROSE! I HAVE NO DAUGHTERS! Why in the name of all that's holy do you need this new life?"
Nigel explained, "I wanted to write my own rock and roll bio, so what better way than to literally get in bed with an editor?"
Tina said, "My Nigey is a better writer than all those poor shmoes who keep bombarding me with manuscripts. Everyday I read them, then send them back with form letters saying, "I hear the post office is hiring,"
Carl pointed a finger at TIna, "So, that was YOU, you harlot!"
Tina replied, "Relax, Yank! We also have our own self-publishing service, multiple copies, your book on every platform known to man,copyright, ISBN number, all for the incredible low price of YOUR LIFE with a small service charge of EVERYTHING YOU OWN ON EARTH!"
Carl beckoned to Rosa, "Come on, Rosie, we don't need THESE guys! We've got a show to put on, and nothing's gonna stand in our way!"
When they made it to the street level Rosa looked at Carl.
"You know what?"
"No, what?"
"I've always loved U-nited Artists' 1976 classic ROCKY starring Sylvester Stallone, Talia Shire, and Carl Weathers in a great American underdog story. The remake, CREED, is now playing over at the Lincoln Square. You up?"
"You're on, buddy!"
Not exactly the most romantic way to spend a Valentine's Day, but, hey, whatever works, works!
NEXT: Stunning new developments in Carl's relationship with Rosa and Nigel's relationship with Tina and whatever the heck their names are! We finally get a look at the nightclub act AND Rosa's return to opera! Be here!
ALOHA!
Friday, February 5, 2016
First of All, THIS Is Volume 1, Number 4! SORRY! Secondly, Our Series Continues...
PREVIOUSLY in SONG OF REDEMPTION...
We met Rosa Milano, an opera superstar and proud mother of two beautiful daughters who was kicked out of the New York City luxury apartment she shared with those daughters and her insanely jealous manager-husband and reduced from a media phenom to a common bum. She was caught panhandling outside a restaurant intended as a low-price, quick-service place for people on the go, but reduced to a homeless hotel, and her spotter, music critic Carl Taylor, decided the only way for her was up and dragged her, almost kicking and screaming, to a nice lunch place in Lincoln Center.
AND NOW....
(Actually, I gotta answer a comment about Ye Olde Book Blogge. This is BOTH a showcase for reviews of books by other people AND a launching pad for my new and original books without benefit, if you can call it that, of Amazon.)
AND NOW....
SONG OF REDEMPTION
A Valentine's Day Aria In Five Stanzas
This story may contain inappropriate material for readers under 13. Parental discretion is advised.
This is a work of fiction. Most of the characters and institutions are products of the author's imagination, and the author claims no responsibility for any similarity to any actual person,living or dead,or any actual institution. It is not intended. All trademarks are the property of their respective owners, and there are allusions to copyrighted material. The absence of the symbols (C) (R) and (TM) is not meant to imply any ignorance of legal status.
Stanza The Second
BACK IN A NEW YORK GROOVE
"I GOTTA PEE!"
That's what Rosa announced to the doorman of Carl's building on River Terrace in Battery Park City, the small town within Lower Manhattan that begins at the southernmost tip of the borough and extends up to Chambers Street, where the Borough of Manhattan Community College, Municipal Building, and City Hall are located. The reason for that um, IMPORTANT, bit of information was her chaperone's need to race up to his apartment and change into an outfit more appropriate for the next order of business and the discomfort that arose as a result. The doorman told her to take a deep breath and count to ten. She complied, and by the time she got to eight, there was Carl, wearing a Lacoste golf shirt and a pair of Dockers. He thought it selfie material if they walked to the subway arm in arm like Dorothy and her friends on their way to Oz, but she still didn't entirely trust him, and so, they walked to the 1 train next to each other, not looking at each other.
One long, silent train ride later, they made it to the Lincoln Center station, and Carl quickly pulled her away from the person sitting on the bench who looked like he, too, didn't own a residence. They took the stairway at 65th and Broadway, and they were right outside Alice Tully Hall, a futuristic building that housed the Julliard School, public television station Thirteen WNET, and the American Table Cafe. Ever the gentleman, Carl opened the door for Rosa, who made a beeline for the rest room. (Even though she didn't trust him, she knew her chances of getting her daughters, heck, her LIFE back, would be slim to none with a full moon on her black pants.). Ten minutes and a loud flush later, Rosa emerged from the rest room (leaving both parties VERY relieved!) and they walked to the American Table Cafe, a restaurant dedicated to reflecting the richness of the American cultural and culinary tradition. As they walked in, the color returned to her face and she clapped along with the music and, imitating the sexy voice of a young singer from the Brewster Projects of Detroit born Diane Ross, sang, "Baby,baby,baby,baby, baby don't leave me..." Yes, the words of the Supremes' Motown classic "Where Did Our Love Go?", resonated strongly with her, especially since Nigel. who she once either called Baby or Babe, depending on the mood, was very much out of love with her.Carl said with a laugh, "You must really hate that song." She laughed back, "Yeah, I hate it so much, I want to kill it with this stinky old voice that hasn't been on a stage in, I dunno, four months?"
After Carl ordered two roasted chicken sandwiches, two soups of the day, and two hot chocolates, he explained, "The reason I plucked you off the street like a daisy is I can help you back." She laughed, "On a critic's salary?"
A FEW WEEKS AGO:
Carl may have worked for the New York Times, but his favorite TV news was WABC-TV, ABC 7 Eyewitness News, which some people compared unfavorably to the Post, but there were a lot of things ABC 7 did better than the other locals, one of them live lottery numbers. He kept playing the Powerball until the jackpot hit a billion. With card in trembling hand, he stared transfixed at the screen until Yolanda Vega, the Vanna White of the New York Lottery, read the numbers as the ping pong balls they were on jumped through the tubes. As she read, the more they matched the numbers on Carl's card, until it dawned on him...HE WON A DOLLAR BILL WITH NINE ZEROES! He told family and friends, but he still loved the Times and he wanted to keep his job, so he opted for the monthly payments.
"O-M-Good-G," Rosa exclaimed. "I've been one of your biggest fans for the longest time and I want to get you back to the top of the heap," Carl replied. Their hot chocolates came. Carl raised his mug and proposed a toast "TO THE FUTURE!" After the nice, hot meal, which exceeded Rosa's expectations, he called his friends at the Times, News, Post, Newsday, and broadcast stations and said, "Drop what you're doing, 'cause I have a story for you!"
All those entities replied in almost one voice: "WAIT. WHAT?!?"
"I, Carl Taylor, am now the EXCLUSIVE MANAGER of the legendary Rosa Milano, and we are working on a nightclub act that's gonna knock it out of the park!"
Within hours, ET, Access, TMZ and DISH NATION all pounced on the story like a pride of lions, but the two most important people in Rosa's life had yet to find out. Carl and Rosa were about to head over to The Shops at Columbus Circle to get her a very un-homeless-like wardrobe, but she insisted they make a stop at Professional Children's School. The closing bell rang at 3, and Phoebe, the nanny who stayed with Nigel just because of the girls, walked them out, when, she saw...
"MISS ROSA! What on God's green Earth are you doing here! I thought you died!"
"It sure as heck felt like it. Can I talk to Frasquita and Mercedes?"
Carl recalled, "Carmen was such a favorite character of yours to sing that you named your daughters after her Gypsy friends, am I right?"
She laughed, "You've been doing your homework. Come to Mommy, Keeta and Sadie, and gimme a big hug!"
They were all too happy to oblige.
"How's Daddy treating you? "Keeta replied,"He's been taking us to see the dinosaurs."
"At the Natural History Museum?"
Sadie explained,"No, Silly, at the Rolling Stones concert!"
"Well, that's not the worst thing he's done. Has he done anything REALLY terrible?"
Keeta said,""He has all his old buddies over for grown-up parties and they keep drinking and smoking and shouting and all the smoke keeps waking us up."
"No way!"
Both Keeta and Sadie replied,"Way!"
"Remember when Uncle Carl stopped by for brunch?"
They ran towards him and almost knocked him to the ground. He laughed, "Chill, ladies! I'm about to make your mom a huge star again, but DON'T TELL YOUR OLD MAN! Don't let him NEAR a TV, radio, or even a newspaper, copy?"
They saluted and replied, "YES, SIR!" (They DID let him turn on Nick, Disney, and Sprout.In a kid's world, THAT is must-see TV)
:And don't tell him you saw us, PROMISE?"
"Cross our hearts and hope to die!"
A few hugs later, Keeta, Sadie, and Phoebe headed back to the apartment, and kept the 800-pound gorilla hidden in the room.
Having made contact with old friends, Carl and Rosa took advantage of his Titanium AMEX Card and created a new wardrobe with the help of everybody from Armani Exchange to Wolford. They then repaired to the Empire Hotel, the closest to Lincoln Center. (While Lincoln Center, although driven by John D. Rockefeller III and Robert Moses, clearly owes a debt to Walt Disney's entertainment complex, a section of the area is even named Disney Walk in his honor, they made the unfortunate mistake of not taking a page from his book and authorizing hotel construction on the grounds.) Carl informed the concierge that this was THE Rosa Milano, THE former opera star back on the ascendancy and worthy of their best service, but still, in the eyes of the law, a homeless person,and he wanted (and got) 24-hour protection from the NYPD and a private security guard. Just for good measure, he informed Rosa he had the BRC (a major New York homeless outreach organization) and the FDNY EMT's on speed dial, but she stayed out of trouble, listening to opera on Spotify thanks to the Empire's free Wi-Fi and catching up with her all-time favorites, THE BIG BANG THEORY and DOWNTON ABBEY. As she settled in, Carl returned to his River Terrace home, packed a few things, and moved to his temporary quarters at the West Side Y (He didn't want to blow ALL his winnings!) at 63rd and Central Park West, where he got ready for the exciting few weeks ahead.
NEXT: JUST THREE EPISODES LEFT BEFORE THE EXCITING CONCLUSION! (Can ya believe it?) Rosa's nightclub act! Rosa and Carl meet the ex! (If you have a delicate constitution, I DON'T recommend reading this one!) AND...Is there a new Mrs. Nigel on the horizon? Miss a little, miss a lot!
Steve out!
We met Rosa Milano, an opera superstar and proud mother of two beautiful daughters who was kicked out of the New York City luxury apartment she shared with those daughters and her insanely jealous manager-husband and reduced from a media phenom to a common bum. She was caught panhandling outside a restaurant intended as a low-price, quick-service place for people on the go, but reduced to a homeless hotel, and her spotter, music critic Carl Taylor, decided the only way for her was up and dragged her, almost kicking and screaming, to a nice lunch place in Lincoln Center.
AND NOW....
(Actually, I gotta answer a comment about Ye Olde Book Blogge. This is BOTH a showcase for reviews of books by other people AND a launching pad for my new and original books without benefit, if you can call it that, of Amazon.)
AND NOW....
SONG OF REDEMPTION
A Valentine's Day Aria In Five Stanzas
This story may contain inappropriate material for readers under 13. Parental discretion is advised.
This is a work of fiction. Most of the characters and institutions are products of the author's imagination, and the author claims no responsibility for any similarity to any actual person,living or dead,or any actual institution. It is not intended. All trademarks are the property of their respective owners, and there are allusions to copyrighted material. The absence of the symbols (C) (R) and (TM) is not meant to imply any ignorance of legal status.
Stanza The Second
BACK IN A NEW YORK GROOVE
"I GOTTA PEE!"
That's what Rosa announced to the doorman of Carl's building on River Terrace in Battery Park City, the small town within Lower Manhattan that begins at the southernmost tip of the borough and extends up to Chambers Street, where the Borough of Manhattan Community College, Municipal Building, and City Hall are located. The reason for that um, IMPORTANT, bit of information was her chaperone's need to race up to his apartment and change into an outfit more appropriate for the next order of business and the discomfort that arose as a result. The doorman told her to take a deep breath and count to ten. She complied, and by the time she got to eight, there was Carl, wearing a Lacoste golf shirt and a pair of Dockers. He thought it selfie material if they walked to the subway arm in arm like Dorothy and her friends on their way to Oz, but she still didn't entirely trust him, and so, they walked to the 1 train next to each other, not looking at each other.
One long, silent train ride later, they made it to the Lincoln Center station, and Carl quickly pulled her away from the person sitting on the bench who looked like he, too, didn't own a residence. They took the stairway at 65th and Broadway, and they were right outside Alice Tully Hall, a futuristic building that housed the Julliard School, public television station Thirteen WNET, and the American Table Cafe. Ever the gentleman, Carl opened the door for Rosa, who made a beeline for the rest room. (Even though she didn't trust him, she knew her chances of getting her daughters, heck, her LIFE back, would be slim to none with a full moon on her black pants.). Ten minutes and a loud flush later, Rosa emerged from the rest room (leaving both parties VERY relieved!) and they walked to the American Table Cafe, a restaurant dedicated to reflecting the richness of the American cultural and culinary tradition. As they walked in, the color returned to her face and she clapped along with the music and, imitating the sexy voice of a young singer from the Brewster Projects of Detroit born Diane Ross, sang, "Baby,baby,baby,baby, baby don't leave me..." Yes, the words of the Supremes' Motown classic "Where Did Our Love Go?", resonated strongly with her, especially since Nigel. who she once either called Baby or Babe, depending on the mood, was very much out of love with her.Carl said with a laugh, "You must really hate that song." She laughed back, "Yeah, I hate it so much, I want to kill it with this stinky old voice that hasn't been on a stage in, I dunno, four months?"
After Carl ordered two roasted chicken sandwiches, two soups of the day, and two hot chocolates, he explained, "The reason I plucked you off the street like a daisy is I can help you back." She laughed, "On a critic's salary?"
A FEW WEEKS AGO:
Carl may have worked for the New York Times, but his favorite TV news was WABC-TV, ABC 7 Eyewitness News, which some people compared unfavorably to the Post, but there were a lot of things ABC 7 did better than the other locals, one of them live lottery numbers. He kept playing the Powerball until the jackpot hit a billion. With card in trembling hand, he stared transfixed at the screen until Yolanda Vega, the Vanna White of the New York Lottery, read the numbers as the ping pong balls they were on jumped through the tubes. As she read, the more they matched the numbers on Carl's card, until it dawned on him...HE WON A DOLLAR BILL WITH NINE ZEROES! He told family and friends, but he still loved the Times and he wanted to keep his job, so he opted for the monthly payments.
"O-M-Good-G," Rosa exclaimed. "I've been one of your biggest fans for the longest time and I want to get you back to the top of the heap," Carl replied. Their hot chocolates came. Carl raised his mug and proposed a toast "TO THE FUTURE!" After the nice, hot meal, which exceeded Rosa's expectations, he called his friends at the Times, News, Post, Newsday, and broadcast stations and said, "Drop what you're doing, 'cause I have a story for you!"
All those entities replied in almost one voice: "WAIT. WHAT?!?"
"I, Carl Taylor, am now the EXCLUSIVE MANAGER of the legendary Rosa Milano, and we are working on a nightclub act that's gonna knock it out of the park!"
Within hours, ET, Access, TMZ and DISH NATION all pounced on the story like a pride of lions, but the two most important people in Rosa's life had yet to find out. Carl and Rosa were about to head over to The Shops at Columbus Circle to get her a very un-homeless-like wardrobe, but she insisted they make a stop at Professional Children's School. The closing bell rang at 3, and Phoebe, the nanny who stayed with Nigel just because of the girls, walked them out, when, she saw...
"MISS ROSA! What on God's green Earth are you doing here! I thought you died!"
"It sure as heck felt like it. Can I talk to Frasquita and Mercedes?"
Carl recalled, "Carmen was such a favorite character of yours to sing that you named your daughters after her Gypsy friends, am I right?"
She laughed, "You've been doing your homework. Come to Mommy, Keeta and Sadie, and gimme a big hug!"
They were all too happy to oblige.
"How's Daddy treating you? "Keeta replied,"He's been taking us to see the dinosaurs."
"At the Natural History Museum?"
Sadie explained,"No, Silly, at the Rolling Stones concert!"
"Well, that's not the worst thing he's done. Has he done anything REALLY terrible?"
Keeta said,""He has all his old buddies over for grown-up parties and they keep drinking and smoking and shouting and all the smoke keeps waking us up."
"No way!"
Both Keeta and Sadie replied,"Way!"
"Remember when Uncle Carl stopped by for brunch?"
They ran towards him and almost knocked him to the ground. He laughed, "Chill, ladies! I'm about to make your mom a huge star again, but DON'T TELL YOUR OLD MAN! Don't let him NEAR a TV, radio, or even a newspaper, copy?"
They saluted and replied, "YES, SIR!" (They DID let him turn on Nick, Disney, and Sprout.In a kid's world, THAT is must-see TV)
:And don't tell him you saw us, PROMISE?"
"Cross our hearts and hope to die!"
A few hugs later, Keeta, Sadie, and Phoebe headed back to the apartment, and kept the 800-pound gorilla hidden in the room.
Having made contact with old friends, Carl and Rosa took advantage of his Titanium AMEX Card and created a new wardrobe with the help of everybody from Armani Exchange to Wolford. They then repaired to the Empire Hotel, the closest to Lincoln Center. (While Lincoln Center, although driven by John D. Rockefeller III and Robert Moses, clearly owes a debt to Walt Disney's entertainment complex, a section of the area is even named Disney Walk in his honor, they made the unfortunate mistake of not taking a page from his book and authorizing hotel construction on the grounds.) Carl informed the concierge that this was THE Rosa Milano, THE former opera star back on the ascendancy and worthy of their best service, but still, in the eyes of the law, a homeless person,and he wanted (and got) 24-hour protection from the NYPD and a private security guard. Just for good measure, he informed Rosa he had the BRC (a major New York homeless outreach organization) and the FDNY EMT's on speed dial, but she stayed out of trouble, listening to opera on Spotify thanks to the Empire's free Wi-Fi and catching up with her all-time favorites, THE BIG BANG THEORY and DOWNTON ABBEY. As she settled in, Carl returned to his River Terrace home, packed a few things, and moved to his temporary quarters at the West Side Y (He didn't want to blow ALL his winnings!) at 63rd and Central Park West, where he got ready for the exciting few weeks ahead.
NEXT: JUST THREE EPISODES LEFT BEFORE THE EXCITING CONCLUSION! (Can ya believe it?) Rosa's nightclub act! Rosa and Carl meet the ex! (If you have a delicate constitution, I DON'T recommend reading this one!) AND...Is there a new Mrs. Nigel on the horizon? Miss a little, miss a lot!
Steve out!
Saturday, January 30, 2016
PREEEEEEESENTING AN UNPRECEDENTED FIVE-WEEK LIMITED SERIES! (This is Volume 1, Number 4, BTW)
SONG OF REDEMPTION
A Valentine's Day Aria In Five Stanzas
This story may contain inappropriate material for readers under 13. Parental discretion is advised.
This is a work of fiction. Most of the characters and institutions are products of the author's imagination, and the author claims no responsibility for any similarity to any actual person, living or dead, or any actual institution. It is not intended. All trademarks are the property of their respective owners, and there are allusions to copyrighted material. The absence of the symbols (C), (R), and (TM) is not meant to imply any ignorance of legal status.
Stanza The First
THE LONG AND WINDING ROAD
Why was she doing this?
That was the first thought that ran through the mind of Carl Taylor, the esteemed music critic for the New York Times when he saw Rosa Milano, the famous opera singer, holding the door of the Dunkin' Donuts on West Broadway and Canal with one hand and holding 50 cents in quarters with the other. He understood all the circumstances that led up to this, her insanely jealous manager-husband, a veteran of the British Invasion, helped her become the biggest opera star since Pavarotti, heck, bigger than Beverly Sills! Thanks to him, she not only snatched up primo gigs at some of the greatest venues in America, even Madison Square Garden, but Taylor Swift welcomed her into her squad, she performed a duet with Blake Shelton on the stage of the Grand Ole Opry, she even had a few Top 40 singles on the pop chart! Unfortunately, the side effects included people walking up to her and Hubby and ignoring him, and two daughters who would rather fall asleep to her rendition of "Let It Go" (complete with Queen Elsa costume) to his medley of The Beatles' "Good Night" and "Golden Slumbers." This situation had Hubby so incensed that he took the wedding ring right off her finger and kicked her out of their swank Lincoln Square penthouse and onto the street.
As he jogged in her direction in his Yankee cap, Springsteen T-shirt and Yankee gym shorts,he wondered why she wasn't singing in the subways or working the talk show circuit. They made contact and did she sing "Sempre Libre" from Traviata? "Eleanor Rigby?" No, she asked plaintively, "Could you spare some change to help me get something to eat?"
The words finally made it out of his mouth. He asked her a question Billy Joel's fans asked him when he was playing nightclubs,but with an obvious difference:
"Lady, what are YOU doing here?!?"
"What the hell does it LOOK like I'm doing, butthead? I'm trying to get something to eat!"
"I mean, why are you panhandling like a common bum when you should be making money with your voice?"
"That frickin' Nigel took my voice when he took my ring! My daughters were the reason I had a career! I could have been the head of the G.D. Met Opera company but it wouldn't have meant jack without my daughters!"
"Oh, I'm sorry, but you ARE aware that you are breaking the law and your so-called friends are all addicts and lunatics."
"And what are YOU going to do about it, Mr. High-And-Mighty Music Critic?"
"Take you back to Lincoln Center and buy you lunch at the American Table Cafe and Bar."
"And suppose I kick your ass and run off to McDonald's?"
He pulled his smart phone out of his shorts and pressed three buttons.
"Three-One-One, how may I help you?"
"Could you please connect me to Homeless Services? I would like to report..."
She screamed, "OK,OK,OK! Take me up to that frickin' American Table Cafe!"
"What do we say?"
She sighed, "PLEASE take me up to that American Table Cafe."
NEXT:Lunch In Lincoln Center! Carl's Secret! Rosa Gets Back On Track! And we're just getting started!
A Valentine's Day Aria In Five Stanzas
This story may contain inappropriate material for readers under 13. Parental discretion is advised.
This is a work of fiction. Most of the characters and institutions are products of the author's imagination, and the author claims no responsibility for any similarity to any actual person, living or dead, or any actual institution. It is not intended. All trademarks are the property of their respective owners, and there are allusions to copyrighted material. The absence of the symbols (C), (R), and (TM) is not meant to imply any ignorance of legal status.
Stanza The First
THE LONG AND WINDING ROAD
Why was she doing this?
That was the first thought that ran through the mind of Carl Taylor, the esteemed music critic for the New York Times when he saw Rosa Milano, the famous opera singer, holding the door of the Dunkin' Donuts on West Broadway and Canal with one hand and holding 50 cents in quarters with the other. He understood all the circumstances that led up to this, her insanely jealous manager-husband, a veteran of the British Invasion, helped her become the biggest opera star since Pavarotti, heck, bigger than Beverly Sills! Thanks to him, she not only snatched up primo gigs at some of the greatest venues in America, even Madison Square Garden, but Taylor Swift welcomed her into her squad, she performed a duet with Blake Shelton on the stage of the Grand Ole Opry, she even had a few Top 40 singles on the pop chart! Unfortunately, the side effects included people walking up to her and Hubby and ignoring him, and two daughters who would rather fall asleep to her rendition of "Let It Go" (complete with Queen Elsa costume) to his medley of The Beatles' "Good Night" and "Golden Slumbers." This situation had Hubby so incensed that he took the wedding ring right off her finger and kicked her out of their swank Lincoln Square penthouse and onto the street.
As he jogged in her direction in his Yankee cap, Springsteen T-shirt and Yankee gym shorts,he wondered why she wasn't singing in the subways or working the talk show circuit. They made contact and did she sing "Sempre Libre" from Traviata? "Eleanor Rigby?" No, she asked plaintively, "Could you spare some change to help me get something to eat?"
The words finally made it out of his mouth. He asked her a question Billy Joel's fans asked him when he was playing nightclubs,but with an obvious difference:
"Lady, what are YOU doing here?!?"
"What the hell does it LOOK like I'm doing, butthead? I'm trying to get something to eat!"
"I mean, why are you panhandling like a common bum when you should be making money with your voice?"
"That frickin' Nigel took my voice when he took my ring! My daughters were the reason I had a career! I could have been the head of the G.D. Met Opera company but it wouldn't have meant jack without my daughters!"
"Oh, I'm sorry, but you ARE aware that you are breaking the law and your so-called friends are all addicts and lunatics."
"And what are YOU going to do about it, Mr. High-And-Mighty Music Critic?"
"Take you back to Lincoln Center and buy you lunch at the American Table Cafe and Bar."
"And suppose I kick your ass and run off to McDonald's?"
He pulled his smart phone out of his shorts and pressed three buttons.
"Three-One-One, how may I help you?"
"Could you please connect me to Homeless Services? I would like to report..."
She screamed, "OK,OK,OK! Take me up to that frickin' American Table Cafe!"
"What do we say?"
She sighed, "PLEASE take me up to that American Table Cafe."
NEXT:Lunch In Lincoln Center! Carl's Secret! Rosa Gets Back On Track! And we're just getting started!
Tuesday, November 10, 2015
2 The Story of the Greatest Super Hero of All Time, In His Own Words
AMAZING FANTASTIC INCREDIBLE, A Marvelous Memoir, by Stan Lee and Peter David, Illustrated by Colleen Doran, Simon & Schuster, 2015
Thanks, Stan for reviewing your own book. Now I can take a nap.
KIDDING! Although Stan "The Man" Lee, the patron saint of super heroes, has shared insights on his life growing up in his Origins of Marvel Comics books and Bullpen Bulletin pages, (Not to mention the "Bio-Autography" "EXCELSIOR! The Amazing Life of Stan Lee", written with George Mair.), there's never been anything quite like AMAZING FANTASTIC INCREDIBLE, an all-ages graphic novel-style autobiography which traces the fulfillment of his American dream from a hardscrabble life in Manhattan's Washington Heights neighborhood to the creation of the most beloved super hero of all times. In this cleverly written and handsomely illustrated book, Stan introduces us to his most fascinating character, the one we only THOUGHT we knew...Stan Lee. We follow him from the Golden Age of Comics to the present, and along the way we see him as a soldier in the Second Great War, trying to convince his publisher that mutants and not-so-jolly green giants will sell, and fighting his deadliest enemy, Dr. Frederic Wertham, the author of the notorious comic book expose, "Seduction of the Innocent."
Whether you're a Permanent Marvelite Maximus, a newcomer, or just somebody who wants to find out why the fuss over those dang long underwear characters, AMAZING FANTASTIC INCREDIBLE belongs under the tree or next to the Menorah. Not only does it speak to super hero fans of all ages, it also speaks to the amazing, fantastic, incredible hero in all of us. Nuff said!
Steve out!
Thanks, Stan for reviewing your own book. Now I can take a nap.
KIDDING! Although Stan "The Man" Lee, the patron saint of super heroes, has shared insights on his life growing up in his Origins of Marvel Comics books and Bullpen Bulletin pages, (Not to mention the "Bio-Autography" "EXCELSIOR! The Amazing Life of Stan Lee", written with George Mair.), there's never been anything quite like AMAZING FANTASTIC INCREDIBLE, an all-ages graphic novel-style autobiography which traces the fulfillment of his American dream from a hardscrabble life in Manhattan's Washington Heights neighborhood to the creation of the most beloved super hero of all times. In this cleverly written and handsomely illustrated book, Stan introduces us to his most fascinating character, the one we only THOUGHT we knew...Stan Lee. We follow him from the Golden Age of Comics to the present, and along the way we see him as a soldier in the Second Great War, trying to convince his publisher that mutants and not-so-jolly green giants will sell, and fighting his deadliest enemy, Dr. Frederic Wertham, the author of the notorious comic book expose, "Seduction of the Innocent."
Whether you're a Permanent Marvelite Maximus, a newcomer, or just somebody who wants to find out why the fuss over those dang long underwear characters, AMAZING FANTASTIC INCREDIBLE belongs under the tree or next to the Menorah. Not only does it speak to super hero fans of all ages, it also speaks to the amazing, fantastic, incredible hero in all of us. Nuff said!
Steve out!
Tuesday, April 21, 2015
Wrong Numbers!
BOOK OF NUMBERS a novel by Joshua Cohen,to be published June 9,2015 by Random House, $28 USA/$34 Canada, but you probably have better things to do and better ways to spend your money penciled in for that day!
Will the real Joshua Cohen please stand up?
I'm talking about the Joshua Cohen who writes for Harper's Magazine,the New York Times, and the London Review of Books, not his pretentious doppleganger in this over-rated candidate for the bargain bin. If he wanted to write a book about Joshua Cohen lamenting the printed word's defeat at the hands of the internet, he could have taken a page from Yours Truly's book (coming later this year to better bookstores, websites, and libraries everywhere) and said, "Hi, I'm Joshua Cohen, and I'm here to lament the printed word's defeat at the hands of the internet."
Ladies and gentlemen, this man clearly has ego deficiencies. He feels like hiding behind a fictional character who just happens to have the same name as he does as opposed to talking directly to the reader in his authentic voice, as well as crying about the world's problems using language that would perplex even the most erudite Harvard professor. If you feel like crying, Joshie, maybe you should call the WAAAAAHmbulance! As a great man once said, "It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."
Furthermore, this man has ripped off the name of one of the greatest books in world history! You don't tug on Superman's cape, you don't pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger and you don't mess around with the Bible!
This guy takes too long to make his point, unless it's the one atop his head! Let me make my point here and now:
This.
Book.
Stinks.
If I was down to my last and I had to choose between this book and a sandwich, I'd take a big bite of the sandwich. This tantrum disguised as a book just plain bites.
Keep watching for further reports on Steve's Book!
Steve out!
Will the real Joshua Cohen please stand up?
I'm talking about the Joshua Cohen who writes for Harper's Magazine,the New York Times, and the London Review of Books, not his pretentious doppleganger in this over-rated candidate for the bargain bin. If he wanted to write a book about Joshua Cohen lamenting the printed word's defeat at the hands of the internet, he could have taken a page from Yours Truly's book (coming later this year to better bookstores, websites, and libraries everywhere) and said, "Hi, I'm Joshua Cohen, and I'm here to lament the printed word's defeat at the hands of the internet."
Ladies and gentlemen, this man clearly has ego deficiencies. He feels like hiding behind a fictional character who just happens to have the same name as he does as opposed to talking directly to the reader in his authentic voice, as well as crying about the world's problems using language that would perplex even the most erudite Harvard professor. If you feel like crying, Joshie, maybe you should call the WAAAAAHmbulance! As a great man once said, "It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."
Furthermore, this man has ripped off the name of one of the greatest books in world history! You don't tug on Superman's cape, you don't pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger and you don't mess around with the Bible!
This guy takes too long to make his point, unless it's the one atop his head! Let me make my point here and now:
This.
Book.
Stinks.
If I was down to my last and I had to choose between this book and a sandwich, I'd take a big bite of the sandwich. This tantrum disguised as a book just plain bites.
Keep watching for further reports on Steve's Book!
Steve out!
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