Saturday, January 30, 2016

PREEEEEEESENTING AN UNPRECEDENTED FIVE-WEEK LIMITED SERIES! (This is Volume 1, Number 4, BTW)

                                              SONG OF REDEMPTION
                                      A Valentine's Day Aria In Five Stanzas

This story may contain inappropriate material for readers under 13. Parental discretion is advised.

This is a work of fiction. Most of the characters and institutions are products of the author's imagination, and the author claims no responsibility for any similarity to any actual person, living or dead, or any actual institution. It is not intended. All trademarks are the property of their respective owners, and there are allusions to copyrighted material. The absence of the symbols (C), (R), and (TM) is not meant to imply any ignorance of legal status.

                                                        Stanza The First
                                     THE LONG AND WINDING ROAD

Why was she doing this?

That was the first thought that ran through the mind of Carl Taylor, the esteemed music critic for the New York Times when he saw Rosa Milano, the famous opera singer, holding the door of the Dunkin' Donuts on West Broadway and Canal with one hand and holding 50 cents in quarters with the other. He understood all the circumstances that led up to this, her insanely jealous manager-husband, a veteran of the British Invasion, helped her become the biggest opera star since Pavarotti, heck, bigger than Beverly Sills! Thanks to him, she not only snatched up primo gigs at some of the greatest venues in America, even Madison Square Garden, but Taylor Swift welcomed her into her squad, she performed a duet with Blake Shelton on the stage of the Grand Ole Opry, she even had a few Top 40 singles on the pop chart! Unfortunately, the side effects included people walking up to her and Hubby and ignoring him, and two daughters who would rather fall asleep to her rendition of "Let It Go" (complete with Queen Elsa costume) to his medley of The Beatles' "Good Night" and "Golden Slumbers." This situation had Hubby so incensed that he took the wedding ring right off her finger and kicked her out of their swank Lincoln Square penthouse and onto the street.

As he jogged in her direction in his Yankee cap, Springsteen T-shirt and Yankee gym shorts,he wondered why she wasn't singing in the subways or working the talk show circuit. They made contact and did she sing "Sempre Libre" from Traviata? "Eleanor Rigby?" No, she asked plaintively, "Could you spare some change to help me get something to eat?"

The words finally made it out of his mouth. He asked her a question Billy Joel's fans asked him when he was playing nightclubs,but with an obvious difference:

"Lady, what are YOU doing here?!?"

"What the hell does it LOOK like I'm doing, butthead? I'm trying to get something to eat!"

"I mean, why are you panhandling like a common bum when you should be making money with your voice?"

"That frickin' Nigel took my voice when he took my ring! My daughters were the reason I had a career! I could have been the head of the G.D. Met Opera company but it wouldn't have meant jack without my daughters!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, but you ARE aware that you are breaking the law and your so-called friends are all addicts and lunatics."

"And what are YOU going to do about it, Mr. High-And-Mighty Music Critic?"

"Take you back to Lincoln Center and buy you lunch at the American Table Cafe and Bar."

"And suppose I kick your ass and run off to McDonald's?"

He pulled his smart phone out of his shorts and pressed three buttons.

"Three-One-One, how may I help you?"

"Could you please connect me to Homeless Services? I would like to report..."

She screamed, "OK,OK,OK! Take me up to that frickin' American Table Cafe!"

"What do we say?"

She sighed, "PLEASE take me up to that American Table Cafe."

NEXT:Lunch In Lincoln Center! Carl's Secret! Rosa Gets Back On Track! And we're just getting started!