Volume 1, Number 6 Look Out. Loretta!

PREVIOUSLY in SONG OF REDEMPTION

After setting up a bank account and getting the proper legal ID, Carl and Rosa attempt to surprise Nigel and tell him they need him like a fish needs a bicycle, but the surprise is on them when they meet his new fiance and Rosa's "ex-daughters" who have been renamed by Nigel after singing like canaries about Rosa's nightclub show. Rehearsals are still a long ways off, so Rosa treats Carl to CREED, the latest movie in the Rocky saga, but like Mr. Balboa and his protege Adonis Creed, they don't plan to stay on the canvas very long!

AND NOW....

                                                     SONG OF REDEMPTION
                                      A Valentine's Day Aria In Five Stanzas

                                         Dedicated, With Affection, To
                                                   AGNES NIXON
                            And to the memory of All Your Children in Pine Valley
                            and Llanview. We  may only have One Life To Live, but your
                            legacy will live on forever in our hearts.

                                                           STANZA THE FOURTH
                                                     Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now

The next few weeks and months went by like a blur. Rosa trying on wardrobe, adding numbers, dropping numbers,exercising her vocal cords, exercising her abs,watching other acts at clubs all over Manhattan, and Carl keeping it all together as best he could. They were so busy that her ex Whatshisname, his wife Whatchamacallit, and their daughters Whoozis and Whatzis were the furthest things from their minds, UNTIL...

Rosa and Carl were on their way to the New York Public Library for the Performing Arts to research
Broadway shows and operas for the act, when they heard a familiar voice saying, "Excuse us, ladies and gentlemen, but we're out on the street. Could you please spare some change?" As they turned around, they found Tina, Charlotte, Emily, and even Phoebe each holding a surprisingly slickly produced ad saying

                                                   NIGEL EVANS
                                     Worst (Boss/Dad/Husband) Ever!
(Facing the copy was a picture of Nigel photoshopped with devil horns.)

We are here on the street because Nigel Evans, a rock and roll legend in his own mind, didn't like the way his wife Tina White (Tina White Evans until recently) edited his new autobiography, "Nigel: A Life In The Spotlight," He literally snatched the ring off Tina's finger and then unleashed hell on two innocent bystanders, his daughters from a prior marriage, Charlotte and Emily, and their faithful nanny Phoebe Figalilly. Behind Nigel's rock god facade is a sexist pervert who thinks he can just throw women away like cigarette butts. (For the record, Tina has been sacked as the Editor-In-Chief of Miracle Books because management objects to homeless employees.) We implore you to boycott Nigel's upcoming concert at the Barclays Center in Brooklyn and to not watch or record his upcoming interview on 60 MINUTES, and we also encourage bills no matter what the denomination,
(It can be a single or a hundred.) MetroCards, or gift cards to restaurants. Every little (or big) bit helps, so please give generously.

                                                  HELP US TODAY!
Paid for with our very last money by Tina White Evans, Charlotte Evans, Emily Evans, and Phoebe Figalilly

Rosa and Carl saw the four reluctant panhandlers wearing brightly colored baseball caps, T-shirts, and tour jackets, all emblazoned with the word HOMELESS. Carl tagged Rosa and she ran to the nearest ATM where she pulled out four hundred dollars. She ran back and gave Carl ten twenties which he gave to Tina and Phoebe. She gave the rest to her daughters, and all smiled gratefully. Carl held out a hand, and motioned to all three ladies to follow him to the Y. He asked the receptionist to open the safe, and the receptionist produced a Tiffany box. He slumped to one knee and said, "Rosa Maria Carmen Violetta Anna Milano, we have been friends and business partners for the past few weeks, but the most important piece in the puzzle has been missing until now. Will you find that piece and make me the happiest man in the universe by agreeing to be Mrs. Carl Taylor?" She opened the box, found a glittering ring, and laugh/cried, "Yes!" while the other ladies threw their Homeless caps in the air because that particular chapter in the story was about to end. He turned to Tina and said, "First of all, I'm sorry for what I said that last time, second of all, how would you like to be the Vice President for Public Relations of CRT, Carl and Rosa Taylor Entertainment?" She responded with a grateful bear hug. Rosa looked at her daughters and said, "Welcome back, Frasquita and Mercedes!" Charlotte replied, "We kinda liked the new names!" Rosa was completely taken aback. "Wait,what?" Charlotte explained, "Some kids called me Mosquito," and Emily finished, "And some kids called me Yugo!" Rosa answered, "WELL, the next time they do that, tell them their parents can expect phone calls and strongly worded emails from us!" They ran toward their new dad and their returning mom. A few hours, Nigel logged onto his Twitter account and found a photo of Carl, Rosa, Tina, Char... I mean, Frasquita, and Em...I mean, Mercedes, all saluting him with a middle finger. Couldn't happen to a nicer guy!

NEXT: The Wedding! The Club Act! Rosa Returns To The Opera Stage! Nigel's Final Fate! Face it, friend, THIS ONE HAS IT ALL!

Steve out!